Day 2374 - How to Make More Money Than Your Parents

Great news everybody!

So, I'm at home in Littleton and my dad just told me about a book he heard about called How to Make More Money Than Your Parents. And apparently this book talks a lot about some new sort of technology called blogging . . . or maybe it's blegging? I hope I'm saying that right.

Anyway, I'll fill you all in about blugging, just in case you haven't heard yet. So here we go. . .

Apparently you just get on a computer and write stuff. Just any old thing that you feel like writing about. Any person can just write their thoughts and call it a blag. There are bligs about cooking, and about hockey, and about crafts. I even read one blyg that was just a guy ranting to this history textbook author that he really didn't like.

But anyway, the book says that just writing down all your thoughts in a blag can make you a lot of money.

Which brings me to my next point--You all owe me five bucks.

thanks,

-jim.

Day 2368 - Yet another realization

Si quelqu'un veut un mouton, c'est la preuve qu'il en existe un.

Hey again Internet,

Just wanted to let you know something. I have yet again realized that I am growing up. Now I know you've heard this before and are probably tired of hearing it, but I just need to say that it is now clear that I am becoming an adult. Completely and unarguably clear.

Tonight I went to the wedding of one of my oldest childhood friends. And I have to tell you Internet, it was funny to think that a person I grew up now has a different last name. And obviously I've had friends that have gotten married before, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised. But I've known this particular person for the past 21 years, and it was weird to say that I was going to the wedding of somebody that I grew up with. It's one thing to go to the wedding of somebody that you met in college or high school, but it's quite another thing to go to the wedding of the person who you built forts with in first grade.

And I needed you to know, Internet, that this wedding really made me realize what family is. I feel like this is another realization that I make very often, but I think that it is important to recognize that feeling when it comes to you. The feeling that there are people in the world you care about you, who care about what the world is like because you are in it, who care about not just your presence but also your absence. I want more than anything to be able to feel that all the time.

I want to constantly feel like I am not just in the world, but also a critical part of someone's world. And I think that would be nice.

Right.

I feel like I should end on a less philosophical note . . .

There was one brownie left in the fridge, and I ate it with no regard for other peoples' claims to it. It was delicious, and I have no regrets.

Best of luck to the happy couple!

Love always,

-jim.

Day 2366 - A Blog Written Like Dan Brown?

Hey there internet,

I found a website today, called www.iwl.me, that analyzes your writing and then compares it to famous authors. Needless to say, I was fairly intrigued, and I thought I would try it out.

Here are the results:

"I Write Like" tells me that most of my stories are written like David Foster Wallace. Some are Kurt Vonnegut. My essays are like H.P. Lovecraft. My last few blogs are written like Stephen King and Charles Dickens. After discovering this, I am feeling pretty confident in my writing ability.

But then it gets better. . .

Apparently my resume is written like Vladimir Nabokov.

That crappy story I wrote about Atilla and the ponies?--written like H.G. Wells.

The speech that "the Master" gives at the end of Manos: The Hands of Fate?--written like William Shakespeare.

And I'm sure that when you all read this excerpt from craigslist you immediately think of Chuck Palahniuk:

"Free dog kennel. Upper part of the plastic is cracked. First come, first gets. No holding."

I start to think that this website might not be all that reliable, so I do some fact checking. I find out that the site's programmer is a 27-year-old Russian guy named Dmitry Chestnykh. So on a base level we should probably assume that the works written in English may not be accurate.

In other words, my resume is definitely like Nabokov.

Just thought you should know,

-jim.

P.S. I'm seeing Inception tonight. Super stoked.