I hate the D.M.V. I think I always will. The D.M.V. should burn in a river of giant purple flames. Why you ask? Well, I'll tell you why.
So, about a month ago (ish). I decided to go in to get my learner's permit. So, me and my mommy take the half hour drive out to the D.M.V. I am in fairly good spirits, cuz I'm finally going to be able to drive. (and all my friends had kept yelling at me to get my permit) So, I go in, and I get a number. And wait.... and wait.... and wait... for about a good half hour, maybe 45 minutes, of mindboggling crap. Wait....
Finally, my number's called. So, I go up to the counter, and the lady asks me for my birth certificate and crap. and I tell her that I am here to take the learner's permit test. She tells me that I didn't have to wait for my number to be called for that, I could have just come up. Well thanks for that. She asks me a bunch of questions and crap. Like my phone number. and address and crap. then she asks for my drivers ed affidavit.
Me: I need that now?
her: Yes
Me: I was going to get this first, and then enroll.
Her: Nope, need it now.
Me: Since when?
Her: The law changed on July 1st (while I was out of the country)
Me: So, I need that before I can do anything?
Her: Yup.
So, I leave. Slightly pissed, cuz it took like an hour and a half to do fricken nothing. I get home, and we call this driver's ed place. and the guy sends us a form in the mail and stuff. So, it's time to go back to the D.M.V. again. When I'm looking at the form I see that it needs parental signatures on it. Dad's not home. So I call the D.M.V. to ask if both parents need to sign the thing. D.M.V. says that they only need to sign it if they want to drive with me. And, as if that wasn't enough. It needs to be signed in front of a D.M.V. employee, or notorized. So, I need dad's signature. So, I call him at work. We find this D.M.V. that is basically right between his work and our house. It's raining like crazy, practically flooding. So, we drive 45 minutes through the rain.
Mom and I get to the D.M.V. Walk in. I take a number. Not a very long wait considering it's raining cats and dogs outside. I get up to the counter. Have mom sign the thing, dad's still not there. So I wait. He gets there. The D.M.V. lady asks me a bunch of questions. Like my phone #. and address. and I take the eye test. and they ask if I want to be an organ donor. Then it's time for the test.
Ok. All my friends told me this test was easy, and I didn't need to study. Let's just say......... My friends are filthy, scum, liars. I must have gotten the one hard test out of the 5 they offer. It's all about how to put child seats in the car and crap. HELLO!? I DON'T HAVE ANY FRICKEN KIDS! I'M 15! THIS IS A PERMIT TEST! So, the lady grades it. I miss 6. You can only miss 5. (thanks a lot lieing friends)
So, I take the test again. Miss two this time. pass. Go up. Lady asks me my address (again). Lady asks me my phone # (again) organ donor? (again) finally, it seems like I'm going to get the darn thing. Thank goodness. cuz I have now spent about 5 or 6 hours trying to get my permit. We are just about done. Then the lady asks for my secondary driver's ed form.
Me: Secondary?
Her: Yes. You need to take a definsive driving course.
Me: You mean regular driver's ed plus something like alive at 25? (a course I had taken at the beginning of the year, and thought was useless)
Her: Yes.
Me: Since when?
Her: July 1st (date sound familiar?)
Me: So I need the certificate for that? and regular driver's ed?
Her: Yes.
She says that I can just bring the form back the next day and I won't have to take the test again. And I won't have to wait in line cuz she'll recongnize me. Ok, here's the worst part. The Alive at 25 form? Yea, I never got one of those. They were supposed to come in the mail. They didn't. So I have to get a new one in the mail. That will take more that a day. And to sum it up. Tomorrow is the last day the D.M.V. lady will be working in Colorado. She is moving. So, by the time I get the form, nobody will recognize me.
Drive home. 45 min. In the rain. Very mad.
Call the state patrol. And they say: "Since you lost the first one, there is a $5 fee for a new one"
O great. I get to pay $5 for a form they lost. I don't have five bucks. So I have to mow the lawn. Mom pays me five bucks. I give mom five bucks. Mom sends money to state patrol. Certificate comes in mail.
Today. I go back to the D.M.V. Afraid that I'll have to take the test again. Get a number. Wait for 45 min. Finally get to the front. Give lady (Pat) all the forms. Pat says ok. Moves me along. I go to the guy I pay. Pay him the ten bucks for a permit. He tells me to wait for the picture guy to call me. I wait. Picture guy calls me. I walk forward. He tells me to step up to do the finger print thingie.
Right when I'm about to do that. Pat (D.M.V. lady that I just talked to), runs up, says "Hold on, Carl" "He's void"
She explains to me the the Alive at 25 form, that cost me five bucks, isn't valid. And I need a different one. Money guy gives me my check back.
I'm pissed. I go tell mom what they said. And my mom, start to walk up to the desk. Cuts through all the lines. She looks like she's about to go midevil on the whole dmv. She calls the state patrol on her cell phone. Talks to them. Yells at Pat. (sorry pat) (I actually like Pat, she's nice. It's her supervisor and the rest of the D.M.V. that I hate) Pat says that her supervisor says it's the wrong form. suposedly the form is supposed to look like this:
Gah. How annoying. Supervisor says that the approval guys say it isn't valid. Mom asks to talk to them. Goes into this back room. Dad and I sit outside. It's getting late. We've been there for 2 hours. D.M.V. is closing. Everybody is gone. Just a couple D.M.V. guys giving me the crazy eye, since I'm sitting on the floor outside the approval office. Finally after for fricken ever. They call me in. The state patrol sends a certificate via fax. Approval guys say, Yea, that's fine. We go out to talk to the witch. I mean supervisor. Approval guys go home.
Supervisor lady says it's still the wrong form. Mom get's pissed again. Goes into supervisor lady's office. Supervisor lady get's scared. and kicks her out. Supervisor lady calls regional supervisor. Says she'll fax the form. Fax machine won't work for about 15 min. Finally works. Regional supervisor says that it isn't the normal form. So, D.M.V. supervisor figures that means don't take it. D.M.V. supervisor is obviously an idiot. Mom asks to talk to regional supervisor.
Regional supervisor finally caves. But says if the Supervisor of the supervisors doesn't approve, we'll have to come back in. So, I finally got the damn thing. I think towards the end, D.M.V. supervisor didn't want me to get it. But, we may get a call tomorrow saying that this one is void and we have to go back. At that point, I'll just wait till I'm sixteen and won't need the alive at 25 thing anyway. Gah.
But I did learn a lot today.
Like D.M.V. people complain a lot. But why should they? It's the easiest job ever. I'll tell you why.
1. You don't need to be intelligent to get a job there. (especially a job as supervisor)
2. You get paid to piss people off. How fun is that?
So, I have my permit. Hopefully perminently. we'll see. Pssh. Dang you D.M.V.!
ok bye!
-Jimbo
P.S. The band just finished our cd yesterday. They'll be available soon for the cheap fee of five dollars.
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