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I figured I had paid my debt to society
by paying my overdue fines at the Multnomah county library,
at the library.
at the library.
They said, 'Son, go join up.
Go join the youth and beauty brigade.'
Come join the youth and beauty brigade.
Well, the end of the semester is arriving, and that means papers, and tests, and graduation parties. And this is seemingly a normal thing, but I can't help but feel completely intrigued by it. It is a massive collision of events and situations, which seems to suggest some sort of overall connection.
Not that my history paper has anything to do with my impending End-of-the-Year Information Desk Potluck, but the way in which every part of my life suddenly springs into action at one moment almost suggests some sort of climax to this story. And within this climax I seem unable to prevent myself from looking for meaning.
Perhaps what is so great about summer is that it is just a sort of denouement. The time given to sum up.
I've been searching for any creative outlet. I'm thinking in very non-concrete ways. I've been carrying fortune cookies in my pockets, in an attempt to constantly have a zen saying at hand. (The one I just opened said "reaffirm your financial plans--make a budget," which was completely not what I was going for).
I think what is so interesting about transition isn't what comes next, but looking back on what has just happened. While I am constantly thinking about internships and grad schools and careers and retirement plans and coffin sizing, none of those things hold a candle to doing Jimmy Stewart impressions, or standing in my kitchen with my favorite people as we sign our names on a pizza box, or sitting in pretentious coffee shops, or watching Jeopardy while eating Reese's Puffs.
I find that all of my plans for the future are wholly intertwined with the past few months. And while I don't feel like I've changed, I feel like I couldn't continue in the way that I am if the events of this semester hadn't occurred.
So thanks.
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