 | Currently Reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower By Stephen Chbosky see related |
Then I will have three performances.
and then it will all be over.
and I will be very lost I think.
I tried on my cap and gown today. I looked in the mirror. and I didn't see me.
I wasn't a kid anymore. I was an adult. I was boring.
I don't want to grow up.
This sucks. I don't see how something can be so depressing and so exciting at the same time.
I don't know how I can feel so proud and yet so unaccomplished;
so wise and yet so stupid;
so lost and yet strangely found.
I just miss being little and not knowing that the world had its problems.
I think Charlie said it best when he said:
"I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't."
I think it would be great if I could stay right where I am forever.
I feel like I finally know what is going on, where I belong.
But maybe the time when you know everything is the time when you need to move on. Maybe you have to move on so that you will continue to be lost and then the times when you are found mean something.
I wish that wasn't how it worked. I think it would be great if that wasn't how it worked.
I think it would be great if sledding were always enough.
Love always,
jim.
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