when I go out. . .

Currently Listening The End Is Here By Five Iron Frenzy see related

I play in the street
I get hit by cars
I make mashed potatoes
I get hit by cars.

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Hey everybody,

So lately I've been comparing myself today to myself a couple years ago; The people I was closest to, the songs I listened to most, the ideas I held most dear. And I think it's made me understand the shock that time travelers must feel. It's like I've gotten into a Delorean, accelerated to 88 miles per hour, and driven through some sort of tear in time and space*. And everything is recognizeable but totally different. It's still Hill Valley, but there are flying cars, people think my jacket is a life preserver, Dr. Brown saves a lady named Clara from falling into a ravine and ruins the geographical name of the location forever, etc. And I realize, Great Scot!**, time is just a crazy thing.

Time seems really fluid. At some moments it seems like things take forever, but at other times I realize how short things really lasted. I feel like I'm often living in the past. But is that really possible?

I really liked things as they were back in high school (and as they are right now for that matter). But it often feels like two completely separate places. One place has Twin Pines Mall (where I meet the Doc in the middle of the night and he gets shot by some Libyans***), and the other has old man Peabody's farm (he thinks I'm a space alien and he shoots at me with his shotgun but misses and blows up his own mail box).

Not that either place is necessarily better--or anymore lacking in excitement--but sometimes I feel myself wishing that I could change where I was; Wishing that I could go back in time. Not necessarily so that I could change things (because that could have disasterous consequences [Clayton/Shownash Ravine e.g.]), but just so I could enjoy them again.

I wish I could go back, but I guess it's exciting to be moving forward. Granted, it's terrifying. I don't know what the future is going to be like, and the truth is: I really liked the past. But I think I'll enjoy the future: it has the excitement of the unknown, it has unlimited possibility.

And after all, apparently "we don't need roads.****" So that's something to look forward to also.


love always,
jim.


Notes:
*temporal displacement occurring at exactly 1:20 AM and zero seconds, Saturday morning, October 26, 1985.

**or, if you prefer: This is heavy!

***the Libyan nationalists were mad because the Doc promised to build them a bomb, but he just took their plutonium and gave them a shoddy bomb casing filled with used pinball machine parts.

****sorry about the fact that this entire post is basically Back to the Future references. Couldn't really think of any better way to say it.