Day 2469 - This is the Worst Birthday Ever

Whenever something bad happens I don't say, "sometimes bad things happen to good people," or "everything happens for a reason." I think these responses are fairly overused. Instead I say, "this is the worst birthday ever!" Because no matter how bad something is, it would be inevitably worse if it happened on your birthday.

An unexpected cold front causes the pipes from the sprinkler system to explode, and I must stand in a spurt of freezing water to turn the system off--"This is the worst birthday ever."

The RamSkellar takes 45 minutes just to make my fish and chips.--"This is the worst birthday ever."

I develop an allergy to birthday cake of all varieties.--"This is the worst birthday ever."

I find that it is best to claim that I'm having "the worst birthday ever" with a slightly whiny voice, as if I've just been punched in the face. Often it can be very effective to use this phrase around people who do not actually know when my birthday is. Strangers help me with things because they want me to have a good birthday, or even a mediocre birthday--but certainly not "the worst birthday ever."

However, Monday was my actual birthday, and I made the mistake of saying, "this is the worst birthday ever." It seems to have a much different meaning when it's actually my birthday.

Sorry about that. Just to clarify--Monday was not the worst birthday ever, I was just upset that I stubbed my toe.

love always,
-jim.

P.S. I've noticed that for every blog in which I mention the GRE, I get a comment from a guy named "pro," saying that he "likes my writing way" and suggesting that I go to a GRE prep website. I am fairly certain that he is a robot, but I wanted to test. So I will close the blog by saying this: GRE GRE GRE GRE!