I was reading old messages, and one was from you. And I remembered when you used to talk to us. That was before you were so far away. It seems so weird that you've cut yourself off from your past. I don't think I could ever do that. Move away and just leave everything and everyone behind. That's crazy. Completely crazy.
I could never do that.
Ever.
No freaking way.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
the epistle to the stressed college student.
You are an idiot Jim Taggart.
You chose to study a subject in which there are no wrong answers--a subject that you believed allowed for endless possibilities and differing points of view. English? You thought that it was wonderful how much you could learn about yourself and about the universe from just thinking about things from different angles and from analyzing things in different ways. How much you could gain just from reading others' insights and pondering others' beliefs.
But what you didn't realize was that in a subject in which there are no wrong answers, there are no correct answers either. No matter how much you theorize, analyze, and consider; your opinion is still only an opinion. No matter how much you try and look at something a different way, you still can't find the "right" way. Your answer is just as much
"fluff" as the moron sitting next to you who theorizes that the fog is a metaphor for the downfall of Gregor's career when you clearly know that it is a metaphor for the loss of innocence or the evil of the machine age or any number of things.
But the truth is, in a subject with no answer, there can be no ultimate goal, or ultimate truth, or overall success. You just spend the whole time thinking, theorizing, analyzing, considering, annotating, reading, writing, formatting, studying in order to get nowhere.
In the end, no matter how much you've done all that, the only outlook you have is your perspective. And that perspective is only real to you. Nobody else will see it for what it is.
And your answer will never be right just as much as it will never be wrong.
It isn't an answer. It just an idea. Just a tiny squeak speaking out in a world where tiny squeaks all mix into one massive droning ROAR. A roar in which any individual squeak can't be deciphered from any other.
And you're a part of that, Jim. And you're just now realizing that everything you're striving for will make very little difference in the big picture. That your grades matter very little anymore. That tests don't measure who you are. That "right" answers shouldn't be used to define a person.
You're realizing that maybe all that matters is to be there; to have an 'answer'; to be a squeak within a ROAR; and to do whatever you can to be you.
Because in the end, even if you don't have it all figured out, you're you. And maybe that's the only end-goal that matters:
To speak.
To think.
To wonder.
To love and to be loved.
To eat, and sleep, and dream.
but most of all,
To be.
You chose to study a subject in which there are no wrong answers--a subject that you believed allowed for endless possibilities and differing points of view. English? You thought that it was wonderful how much you could learn about yourself and about the universe from just thinking about things from different angles and from analyzing things in different ways. How much you could gain just from reading others' insights and pondering others' beliefs.
But what you didn't realize was that in a subject in which there are no wrong answers, there are no correct answers either. No matter how much you theorize, analyze, and consider; your opinion is still only an opinion. No matter how much you try and look at something a different way, you still can't find the "right" way. Your answer is just as much
"fluff" as the moron sitting next to you who theorizes that the fog is a metaphor for the downfall of Gregor's career when you clearly know that it is a metaphor for the loss of innocence or the evil of the machine age or any number of things.
But the truth is, in a subject with no answer, there can be no ultimate goal, or ultimate truth, or overall success. You just spend the whole time thinking, theorizing, analyzing, considering, annotating, reading, writing, formatting, studying in order to get nowhere.
In the end, no matter how much you've done all that, the only outlook you have is your perspective. And that perspective is only real to you. Nobody else will see it for what it is.
And your answer will never be right just as much as it will never be wrong.
It isn't an answer. It just an idea. Just a tiny squeak speaking out in a world where tiny squeaks all mix into one massive droning ROAR. A roar in which any individual squeak can't be deciphered from any other.
And you're a part of that, Jim. And you're just now realizing that everything you're striving for will make very little difference in the big picture. That your grades matter very little anymore. That tests don't measure who you are. That "right" answers shouldn't be used to define a person.
You're realizing that maybe all that matters is to be there; to have an 'answer'; to be a squeak within a ROAR; and to do whatever you can to be you.
Because in the end, even if you don't have it all figured out, you're you. And maybe that's the only end-goal that matters:
To speak.
To think.
To wonder.
To love and to be loved.
To eat, and sleep, and dream.
but most of all,
To be.
Monday, September 10, 2007
a change of me.
Hey everybody.
I've been reading some of my notes from over the past couple weeks. And I've noticed that some of them are really depressing and lame. I would delete them, but I don't really like doing that. I don't think I should change how things happen. I might think they are emo and not agree with them, but they were still me.
However, from now on, I want to be better.
I want to be a better friend. I want to be more encouraging. I want to be more positive.
And I want to be happy. and I want those around me to be happy.
Thus, I am changing some things.
First of all,
if there is ever anything you need. Tell me. I'd like to do whatever I can to help.
2nd
I've started a swear jar. I think my potty mouth has been bringing me down. So if you catch me swearing, please remind me that it costs 25 cents.
and 3rd
I want you all to know that I'm crazy about all of you guys. And I'd like to remind you all of that more.
So here is the first time.
You guys are wonderful friends. And I love you all oodles of noodles.
I hope you all have a wonderful day,
jim.
P.S.
It kind of feels like this is over optimistic. But I'm really serious. So if you could all hold me accountable, I'd appreciate it a lot.
I've been reading some of my notes from over the past couple weeks. And I've noticed that some of them are really depressing and lame. I would delete them, but I don't really like doing that. I don't think I should change how things happen. I might think they are emo and not agree with them, but they were still me.
However, from now on, I want to be better.
I want to be a better friend. I want to be more encouraging. I want to be more positive.
And I want to be happy. and I want those around me to be happy.
Thus, I am changing some things.
First of all,
if there is ever anything you need. Tell me. I'd like to do whatever I can to help.
2nd
I've started a swear jar. I think my potty mouth has been bringing me down. So if you catch me swearing, please remind me that it costs 25 cents.
and 3rd
I want you all to know that I'm crazy about all of you guys. And I'd like to remind you all of that more.
So here is the first time.
You guys are wonderful friends. And I love you all oodles of noodles.
I hope you all have a wonderful day,
jim.
P.S.
It kind of feels like this is over optimistic. But I'm really serious. So if you could all hold me accountable, I'd appreciate it a lot.
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