Hey there Internet,It's been a while since I last [jim]b[o]logged. Sorry. In all honesty, I've been trying to catch up for the last few days but have been seriously lacking some motivation.
So today I started reading my horoscope. Which is not something that I ever do, but I did today, because I have been seriously lacking some motivation. I assumed that a horoscope would be just cryptic enough to spark some sort of creative impulse in my brain. I needed some sort of cosmic intervention or divine providence to get moving again.
Here is what the horoscope said:
"Everything gets accomplished that you need to do today. Oddly, your enthusiasm isn't as important as consistent effort."
Great, I thought, that's good news. Let's get to accomplishing some things. Let's get to accomplishing "Day 2502 - My Horoscope." That'll be nice. As the synapses in my brain began to fire in rapid succession--tiny lightning storms of thought--I began to feel like it was finally time to get back on the horse. It was time to blog after a decent 33 day hiatus. I'm gonna make it world! I thought. Or something along those lines.
But that wasn't the end of the horoscope. There was one more sentence:
"Tease others into compliance."
Needless to say, this sentence pretty much derailed my train of thought. "Tease others into compliance." I suddenly wasn't thinking about my day--I was thinking, who the crap writes horoscopes?
Well don't you worry friends, Stephanie Clement has been certified by the American Federation of Astrologers. The astologers-online website I found said that "Stephanie’s counseling focuses on the creative potential within each of us. . . Stephanie helps to put you in touch with your personal power to create the life and relationships you desire." The website didn't mention that my personal power to create the life and relationships I desire is to "tease others into compliance," but we'll let that slide.
I looked at the other horoscopes to see if they said anything similar. Others said things like, "expenses may fall into line as you refine goals" or "acknowledge those you love" or "allow for both viewpoints." I am the only one who is supposed to make fun of people until I get my way.
Thus, today I have established a new creedo. I will not falter. I will not be discouraged. I will accomplish what I need to do today.
And if you get in my way, I'm definitely going to tease the crap out of you.
love always,
-jim.
